Lee Majors and Jason London in "Out Cold."

MOVIE INFORMATION

With 10 as a must-see, we give this film a: Stars: Lee Majors, Jason London, Zach Galifianakis, Flex Alexander, Derek Hamilton, Caroline Dhavernas and Victoria Silvstedt Director: Brendan and Emmett Malloy Rated: PG-13, with rough language, crude and sexual humor, and substance abuse Length: 89 minutes

ROCHESTERCRITIQUE

Having seen this film, how would you rate it? 10 5 9 4 8 3 7 2 6 1

By Christy Lemire
The Associated Press

(November 21, 2001) -- How cool would it be to work at Bull Mountain? 'Cause really, you don't work. As the guys in Out Cold prove, you snowboard all day, then drink beer, then snowboard some more.

Sometimes you snowboard WHILE you drink beer, in a game called King of the Mountain. See, you have to board down the entire mountain with a full mug in your hand, and whoever has the most beer left at the bottom is the king. Dude! It should be an Olympic sport!

But one day, the high-altitude hijinks come to an abrupt halt for Rick (Jason London) and his slacker buddies, Luke (Zach Galifianakis), Anthony (Flex Alexander) and Pig Pen (Derek Hamilton).

Entrepreneur John Majors (Lee Majors) -- a stereotypical, cigar-chomping good ole boy who wears a cowboy hat -- buys the Alaskan resort and turns it into a yuppie haven, complete with sushi and espresso.

This all makes the movie sound far more complicated than it is, however. It's basically a low-rent remake of the 1984 low-rent teen-age sex comedy Hot Dog...The Movie except it has snowboarders instead of skiers. 'Cause, like, nobody skis anymore, duh!

Brendan and Emmett Malloy -- first-time directors credited as "The Malloys," as if we're supposed to know who they are -- have basically created a feature-length version of those videos that are on a constant loop at surf and ski shops. The snowboarding is impressive, featuring stunts from some of the world's top pro boarders.

It's easy to make fun of this movie for being mindless, sophomoric, predictable, you name it -- especially with Majors, the Six Million Dollar Has-Been, as its big-name star. And it is all those things.

But the characters are pretty likable, and the cinematography of snowboarders carving perfect S-turns through pristine snow is gorgeous.

Out Cold wouldn't be complete without a Playmate of the Year -- the blond, buxom Victoria Silvstedt (1997), replacing the blond, buxom Shannon Tweed (1982), who appeared in Hot Dog before going on to make Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death and Cold Sweat.

But we digress.

Silvstedt, an Anna Nicole Smith look-alike, plays Inga, John Majors' Swedish stepdaughter, who likes to ride mechanical bulls and go hot-tubbing in the snow, naturally.

Majors' other daughter, Anna (Caroline Dhavernas), happens to be a girl Rick met and immediately fell in love with in Cancun. So when she shows up with her dad at the Bull Mountain pub where Rick and his buddies hang out, he gets to quip in a shameless Casablanca reference, "Of all the bars in all the ski towns in Alaska, why did she have to walk into this one?"

But Anna is engaged to be married, and everyone knows that Jenny (A.J. Cook), a cute, laid-back snowboarder chick, is a much better match for Rick anyway.

So will Rick and his friends take back the mountain in the name of all that is pure and right in this world? Will Rick and Jenny end up together?

Dude, you know the answers to those questions.