Bridget Fonda in "Lake Placid."

MOVIE INFORMATION

With 10 as a must-see, Jack gives this film a: Stars: Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda Director: Steve Miner Rated: 90 minutes Length: R, with strong violence and profanity

ROCHESTERCRITIQUE

Having seen this film, how would you rate it? 10 5 9 4 8 3 7 2 6 1

By Jack Garner
Democrat and Chronicle

(July 16, 1999) -- No, I'm not talking about the 30-foot crocodile that bloodies the waters in the new horror flick, Lake Placid.

I'm talking about the movie itself.

The script is by Emmy Award golden boy David E. Kelley (of Ally McBeal and The Practice). But it's a dumb, forced attempt at camp horror that falls woefully far short of such films as Tremors and An American Werewolf in London.

I haven't seen a movie this silly since the giant snake regurgitated Jon Voight in 1997's Anaconda.

But while it's easy to laugh at Lake Placid, you're not always sure you're supposed to. And sometimes when you're supposed to laugh, you don't.

A good horror-comedy is a skilled balancing act. It's not easy to simultaneously scare people out of their wits and tickle their fancy. That might explain why Kelley resorts to cheap tricks, such as filling the mouth of sweet, grandmotherly Betty White with ultra-crude locker-room language. It doesn't work.

Bill Pullman stars as a fish and game warden who's called in by a local sheriff (Brendan Gleeson) after a brutal, bizarre attack on a fisherman. Imagine their shock when they discover the killer is a giant crocodile that somehow made the trip to the great North woods of Maine.

The two officers are soon joined by a paleontologist (Bridget Fonda) who is amazingly inept and fearful in the woods, despite her adventuresome life's calling. Then mythology professor Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt) arrives -- and what a piece of work he is.

Hector believes crocodiles are nearly gods, and is inane in his adoration of the creatures. A most obnoxious fellow, he chides the sheriff for being overweight (though you could put both ample guys on a scale and it might be a draw).

The film's only pleasure comes from watching this idiot come face-to-face with his beliefs, 50 feet from shore.

How ridiculous is Lake Placid? Well, even the title is screwy.

The fictional body of water in the movie is in the wilderness of Maine and is called Black Lake. Then a character says, "They almost called it Lake Placid, but some other place already had that name."

Maybe the producers hope you'll wander in, looking for a documentary on the Winter Olympics. You should only be so lucky.