Richard Cetrone in "John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars."

MOVIE INFORMATION

With 10 as a must-see, we give this film a: Stars: Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge Director: John Carpenter Rated: R, with strong violence, gore, rough language and some drug content Length: 98 minutes

ROCHESTERCRITIQUE

Having seen this film, how would you rate it? 10 5 9 4 8 3 7 2 6 1

By Bill Muller
Gannett News Service

(August 24, 2001) -- For Ghosts of Mars, director John Carpenter let special effects eat up his whole budget -- all $1.99 of it.

The movie's trademark piece of hardware is a futuristic cheesy-looking train. The action sequences are stunningly repetitive (weak explosions and extras flying in the air) and the cast is strictly B-list.

While Carpenter (Escape from New York) has struck low-budget pay dirt before, this isn't one of those times. Ghosts of Mars is wretchedly written, underproduced and singularly unoriginal, though it could fit into the "so bad it's good" horror genre that once dominated the drive-in.

The action takes places in a ramshackle mining town on Mars, which has been colonized by humans. Police arrive to take custody of Desolation Williams (Ice Cube), who's a suspect in some brutal murders. The cops are led by Commander Braddock (Pam Grier), who's backed up by Lt. Ballard (Natasha Henstridge) and the cynical Jericho (Jason Statham).

In a video game-type scenario, the police find the town deserted and Desolation still locked in jail. They soon learn that the miners have been possessed by mysterious Martian spirits. Of course, we never really see the ghosts. That would have cost money. Instead, we're treated to "spirit vision," which involves a blurry red filter being placed on the camera lens and some spooky music playing in the background. It's supposed to be scary.

The infected miners have gone nuts and now look like a bunch of refugees from a Marilyn Manson concert. They split time between self-mutilation and beheadings, depending on their mood.

Naturally, this state of affairs inspires the cops and Desolation to join forces, with all the usual hackneyed dialogue. They also get some useless advice from Professor Whitlock (Joanna Cassidy), who knows more than she's telling, thank goodness.

Before long, our heroes are trapped in the jail and try to formulate a plan to escape. But they really don't spend enough time on the finer points -- the plan involves rushing into the middle of the crazed mob and yelling, "Get 'em!"

The zombie miners no longer speak or do long division, but they have mastered the art of throwing circular saw blades, with predictably gruesome results. Of course, ducking is always an option.

Just like you'll probably want to duck Ghosts of Mars.