Renee Zellweger and Chris O'Donnell in "The Bachelor."

MOVIE INFORMATION

With 10 as a must-see, Jack gives this film a: Stars: Chris O'Donnell and Renee Zellweger Director: Gary Sinyor Rated: PG-13, with profanity and mild sexual references Length: 105 minutes

ROCHESTERCRITIQUE

Having seen this film, how would you rate it? 10 5 9 4 8 3 7 2 6 1

By Jack Garner
Democrat and Chronicle

(Nov. 5, 1999) -- "If it weren't for the female, marriage would have disappeared long since. No man is going to jeopardize his present or poison his future with a lot of little brats hollering around the house unless he is forced to. It is up to the woman to knock him down and hog-tie him and drag him in front of two witnesses immediately, if not sooner."

Those are the words put into the mouth of a cynical attorney by the great Preston Sturges for his 1943 masterpiece The Miracle of Morgan's Creek. Even then, they probably generated embarrassed laughter for their Neanderthal perspective.

So what are we to think more than a half-century later when Hollywood constructs an entire comedy -- The Bachelor -- around such an archaic attitude?

That's the chief obstacle to be overcome by the comedy that stars Chris O'Donnell as a bachelor with a dread fear of the altar.

Screenwriter and Brighton High School graduate Steve Cohen nearly pulls it off, especially in the highly inventive, wildly funny opening hour of the film. But as the push-and-pull of the romance wears on, the theme is stretched too thin, the caveman attitudes become boorish and the laughter diminishes.

The film is barely saved by a grand finale in which our hero is chased over the steep hills of San Francisco by more brides than have ever been assembled this side of a Rev. Moon stadium wedding.

Perhaps it's no surprise that The Bachelor is adapted from a film much older than the Sturges work: Buster Keaton's 75-year-old silent comedy Seven Chances.

Here, O'Donnell stars as Jimmie Shannon, the handsome operator of a pool-table company. He's always envisioned himself as a "wild mustang" in constant pursuit of fresh, new "sweet grass."

Although he finds himself in the third year of a committed relationship, he can't bring himself to take the final plunge into marriage. His pert girlfriend, Anne (Renee Zellweger), has been remarkably patient, but finally believes it's time to take "the next step."

She's not willing, though, to accept a proposal that seems more like a surrender, and the relationship appears over.

So imagine Jimmie's dilemma when he's told that his grandfather has died and left him more than a $100 million, but with conditions: He must marry within 24 hours, stay married for a decade and father at least one child. The eccentric old guy -- marvelously played by Peter Ustinov -- was much obsessed with the continuance of his lineage.

To make matters worse, Jimmie finds out he actually needs the money to save his company -- and 250 jobs -- giving the character a more acceptable moral imperative than greed.

With his true love in flight, Jimmie is forced to go through his black book, throwing proposals at a long line of former girlfriends. Each, of course, comes equipped with a major flaw. It stretches plausibility that such a decent sort as Jimmie Shannon has such a legacy of horrific old girlfriends; I wouldn't call any of that "grass" sweet.

As Jimmie runs hither and yon, he gets questionable advice from an eccentric old boys' club: the family attorney (Ed Asner), the family stockbroker (Hal Holbrook, sporting the most disgusting, chewed-up cigar in movie history), his overly excited best friend (Artie Lange) and a quietly mysterious priest (James Cromwell) who's on call for the any-minute marriage.

O'Donnell, who also served as an executive producer, is undeniably appealing as the beleaguered Jimmie and performs as a sort of straight man for the bizarre behavior that swirls around him. Zellweger is appropriately cute in the romantic early part of the film, but seems to strain as circumstances careen more and more out of control.

Gary Sinyor's direction is also stronger in the opening reels, as he finds amusing visuals to accompany the wild mustang motif and stages other clever moments. And his corralling of a thousand brides for the finale is also funny. He's less successful in-between, though, as the film's one-joke premise -- that guys don't want to get married -- eventually wears out its welcome.